UFOh!
by LarkroseLukos
Summary: Kowalski convinces Private that aliens are invading the zoo after he claims to have seen a UFO. Rated for safety. R and R


Disclaimer: I don't own POM or any of its characters and/or affiliates. I don't own Hersheys, Frisbees or other stuff that you recognize.

***

Kowalski assembled his telescope (which was really a bunch of soda cans taped together) his popcorn, and his notepad. He laid down his secret candy stash. He set out his chair and his tracking device.

While the other penguins slept, Kowalski was to monitor the skies for Hailey's Comet, which would pass through the view of Earth at nine. It was eight fifty six.

Kowalski waited eagerly for the four minutes to pass. One minute passed… two minutes… three…

"Four minutes! Yes!" Kowalski looked in his telescope and aimed it at the sky. The comet passed with a regular directive. Kowalski's eye wandered to the moon. Well, the moon was normal. But why was a cylinder disk floating in front of it? In a millisecond, it flew off.

_What was that?_ Thought Kowalski. He raced down into the HQ and sorted through his books. He couldn't read very well, but pictures mixed with the telly and basic knowledge of the alphabet was good enough for him.

In the morning…

"What are you doing, K'walksi?" asked Private, leaning over his friend's shoulder.

"Looking up unidentified flying objects, often associated with invasive alien life organisms." mumbled Kowalski, not looking up.

"Huh?"

"Aliens are attacking, Private! Our very lives are at risk in this invasion."

"You mean like… War Of The Worlds?" asked Private. "Oh… We need to tell Skipper!"

***

"Aliens? You have got to be kidding me." Skipper shook his head and drank some of his fish coffee.

"We're serious, Skippah." Private insisted.

Skipper glanced at Kowalski. "Did you have any candy last night?" he asked.

"Skipper, why would-"

"Answer me."

"Well, just a Tootsie Roll… and some Hershey's. And some popcorn, if that counts." Kowalski knew what his leader would say next.

"Sugar induced hallucination, Private. Don't let him get to you." Skipper said, and went off.

***

"It's obvious, Private. Skipper has been taken over by the mind-sucking aliens! He's not really Skipper. He's been turned into a… zombie slave!"

"Zombie?" Private whimpered. "You mean like the brain eating kind?"

Kowalski nodded gravely. "Look, he's communicating with Rico right now. Rico must be a zombie too!"

"We have to warn Marlene!" Private said, running for the otter habitat.

***

"Aliens that turn people into zombies? Yeah… sure." Marlene said.

"You have to believe us!" Private said. "Our lives are at stake!"

"And why should I believe you?"

"Because… we're penguins?" asked Kowalski.

"One more reason not to believe you." said Marlene.

"When the aliens invade, don't come crying to us for help." Kowalski said, turning away. "Well, if you're really in trouble…" Private said.

"Then come to us." finished Kowalski.

***

"Aliens? No, the sky spirits would have told me." Julian said.

***

"Uh… what's an alien?" asked the elephant.

***

"Aliens? Illegal aliens? Had a couple of 'em in Australia. Picked 'em up and served um right on the barby." Joey said.

Kowalski and Private looked at each other.

***

"Rico, if you are in an zombie induced trance, say nothing at all." Kowalski waved his flipper in front of the quiet penguin.

Rico said nothing but raised an "eyebrow."

"He's a zombie all right."

***

"I've had enough of this zombie nonsense." Skipper said. "I'm locking you two in this cage until you get some sense in your systems."

"Your alien trapping system will not vanquish us!" Kowalski yelled and pounded at the metal bars.

"Yeah, sure." Skipper left them out there.

"Uh, Skip'? Maybe you could loosen the bars a bit?" Kowalski called out. His leader didn't answer.

"You knew we were just kidding, right? Skipper?"

A coyote howled in the distance as the sun set.

"I'm scared, Kowalski." whimpered Private.

"Look! It's the alien ship!" Kowalski points to the sky.

Sure enough, a white disk flies over the park. That's when a guy jumped up and caught it.

"So it's a Frisbee?" Private asked. "It was a Frisbee all along?"

"Hehe…." Kowalski laughed nervously. "Everyone makes mistakes, right? Uh… Private? Private, I don't like that look on your face… No! Not the flipper, okay! I need that! Private, no!"


End file.
